New words, first steps and a tiled bathroom

Thought I would update this site, since I never do anymore!

Aspen started taking her first steps on her birthday, but then decided it was too scary or something because she has yet to take more than 5 steps (or wobbled runs with her arms way out like the Fiddler on the Roof) in a row. I figure she will get there when she's ready and there's really no rush right? She is also saying a bunch of words now, and she can identify even more things than I know! What a smarty-pants.

Among her words now are:

• Mama
• Daddy
• Trees :)
• Yes, yes, yes, yes (she says this one over and over)
• Dog and Tat
• Juice
• Papa and Amaw (my parents)
• Eat
• Out and In
• Up and Down
• Ball and Balls (her necklass is called "balls" now)

Probably more I can't think of them right now...

Chris went out of town for his best friends bachelor party and wedding. I couldn't make it to the wedding, which was very sad for me, but I heard it was amazing from Chris and my brother Chad. Weddings are lovely, but also a motivation to stay married I think haha! They take so much time, energy and money to pull off!

While he was gone I decided to tile our bathrooms and that's the latest! It looks great and currently I am waiting for the grout to sit and then I'll rinse and seal it. TaDa!

Birthday Girl

Happy birthday to my beautiful baby girl!

Aspen is one and I simply can't believe it!

~The invites were inflatable beach toys with the info written on them and I made party-favor Tutu's for all the little fairies~

Her party was a lot of fun, we had a bbq/ pool party and she had a few baby friends there. In no particular order, thanks for coming: Devin, Wren, Savannah, Scarlett, Clara, Brooke, Ty, Naimaa, Niara, Nyanda, Chase and all of the parents too! My mom let us do it at her pool, and really it was awesome to be at Grandma and Grandpas house for the celebration! She got a ton of wonderful toys and I was surprised at how tightly they pack those toys in the boxes! NOT cool when you have a tiny anxious person! I put together a slideshow for her 1st year, and now I wish I had waited until after her birthday to include pictures of her WALKING!!!!! Her first steps were actually to Grandpa, but then she took turns walking to Mama, Daddy, Grandma and even uncle Devin! SO CUTE! I love being her Mom =)

Above are the tutu party-favors!

These are the shoes I made her!

Below are a few fairy-friends!

Sick Baby

At 11 months old, Aspen got very sick. She was running a fever for almost 9 days and I had taken her to the Dr. 4 times in that week. I finally gave in and was worried about her not eating, so I took her to the hospital and they told me she had Hand-Foot and Mouth disease... great. They also drew blood and attempted to get an IV in her little arm until it was bruised and my Mom and I wanted to punch the stupid nurse. They told us the bloodwork came back saying there was no infections and she would be just fine.......

I took her home with the BABY VICODIN they gave me to keep her comfortable and trusted that now my baby would get better. It is such a helpless feeling to see them so sick and know there isn't a "magic mom button" to make it all better! I got so crazed from stress and sleep deprivation that I swore outloud I would cut my own arm off if it would make her feel even just the tiniest bit better. She was a wilted flower, even got to the point I couldn't rouse her and she didn't even want to cry... just be held by Mom.....

So THEN I took her back to the pediatrician so she could see how very sick my baby was, and upon looking in her throat she asked us if we wanted to drive to the PICU or if we would like to take an ambulance!!!! Aspen had a mass the size of an EGG in her throat. I remained surprisingly calm and we drove. I contacted my work and found the number for an ENT that we use and really like, called Chris and my Folks to let them know we were on our way there etc. She had a cat scan and all kinds of tests done to discover this Tonscillar Abscess in the back of her throat that again, was the size of a large egg and FULL OF INFECTION (see above for the reason of all caps and my frustration)... She had to go into surgery immediatly and it was the most heart- wrenching, helpless feeling of my entire life. I kept a smile on for Aspen and repeated what a good girl she was and how happy we all were she was going to feel better etc. As soon as the nurse took her away and the doors closed (Aspen was crying Mama, and waving bye bye *stab to the heart*) I literally hit my knees!

One of my very best friends, Lindsay, ended up coming down to the hospital to wait with Us and my parents... I was so distraught and she is such a great friend (also Aspens Godmama) she hurried down to cry with me, which was such a help. Friends are treasures.

Anyway, they came out of surgery just fine and told us that in another 12 hours Aspen most likely would have been dead. Either from the mass suffocating her in her sleep, or rupturing and basically drowning her to death from all the fluid... Thank God we had it taken care of! It is very rare in adults to get an abscess like that, even more rare in children and almost unheard of in infants.

We stayed 3 days in the hospital and it was nice for us both to be able to recover. I was so worn out from taking care of her! Chris stayed one night with us, but had to work and there is only one rock-hard couch in the rooms- so I made him go home to get good sleep. Also, as the Mama, I physically felt like it would be impossible for me to leave the building. My family all took turns droping in to check on us and Grandma/ Grandpa were there a few times a day looking after snoodle-butt. She is a loved baby.

The night nurse was rediculous.... Aspen was having OSA, from the narcotics I believe, but she had the nerve to tell me that "babies don't get apnea", BULLSHIT! So when I asked for her to be put on O2 the nurse gave me attitude and wanted to know how I knew anything about it (heheheeee) so I replied (it's a little stretch, but felt good) "I am a polysomnographic technician with an emphasis on pediatric respritory medicine, so please either put my daughter on oxygen or let me speak to someone who will." HA! She did. When we came home I borrowed a POX to moniter her at home for a few days *thanks Kristen!* and all was well. I figured it would be, but as a mom with those resources and knowledge base, who just found out her baby almost died, who wouldn't be a little paranoid?!

UGH! She is doing fantastic now, and the recovery was relatively easy! I was so relieved something got done for her, and also a little frustrated that it feels like in order to get people to pay attention to you it's like you have to pitch a fit!

We were so happy to see these smiles :)

Mach 8

HI!

Well, I thought I would update this site in case anyone out there is still paying attention...

Since my last post a LOT has happened, so I will just sum it up~

I did nanny for a while, but it proved to be more work and more responsibility than I felt I could handle right now. The family was paying me $5 an hour and I was working 11 hours a day, with 4 kids under 5 years old. It was hectic and I couldn't actually interact with Aspen, so she spent her days in a backpack on my back... which also gave me back pain. Lesson learned: the grass is always greener.

We also got robbed. Our neighbors watched as 4 young wanna be thugs pulled up and took anything of any value out of our home. There was some vandalism, but mostly I was thankfull Aspen and I weren't home when it happened. The very worst feeling I have experianced so far in my life is the moment I realized our laptop was stolen along with every picture we have ever taken of Aspen. I felt like someone had ripped my heart and soul out, and then pissed all over them. The pictures of Chris and I fixing up our first house, all of the pregnancy photos, preparing the nursery.... BIRTH and the first few precious months of our babys life!!! I was devistated, simply crushed that people in this world could be so awful. Along with the robbery, someone let our dogs out of the yard, and they are gone forever. There was a posting of a dog matching Duke's description dead on the road... again, I am thankful Aspen is not old enough to ask any questions. We filed insurance claims, but the amount of stuff and damage done far exceded the amount of money we got back.

THEN we sold the house! After being listed for only a few days we had a nice young couple make an offer we couldn't refuse. They loved Aspen's room so much they had it written into the contract that we would leave all the decorations!

SO, we were temporarily homeless when we got the news that Chris was soon to be out of a job because the Bank was closing down. Neat. We decided to move into my Mom's house until life settled down. Aspen was in HEAVEN!!! Wake up, Grandma and Grandpa are there... nap time, kisses from Grandma and Grandpa... Bed time haha etc. It was nice to be able to go back home. I think about all the people who aren't as fortunate and it makes me sad. In this economy more and more people have nowhere to go, and we count our blessings that we have so many great people in our family that we won't have to worry about going without the basic needs.

NEXT, I go back to work at the sleep lab. It was a great move, as hard as it is to be up all night and a Mom all day... It was smart to jump back into a long-term (hopefully) career field, and with Chris still looking for employment I make enough here to keep things floating if necessary.

UHM, then we bought a house. Yep. We BOUGHT A HOUSE! We were keeping our eyes open for great deals, and found our dream home. It is in the best school district in Colorado Springs, close to walking trails and parks... such a great size for our little family, with an open floor plan and and and and. The list goes on and on. It is definantly a little risky to buy a house without guarenteed income from Chris, but he has a bunch of leads to great jobs. We also used equity out of the old house to pay off ALL our bills. So, we own our cars outright and don't have any more debt at all! YAY!

Sheesh. You would think all of that happened in a whole year right? Nope, 2 weeks. Hence the title "Mach 8" because it often feels like our lives are moving at warp speed. :)

HAH!

SO, my last post about things being hard? Yesterday I got laid off... budget cuts, I think. Everyone I talked to had a different story, and just two days prior I was told how well I was doing. Humm. So things can always get harder is the lesson.

Today, I got a new job. Haha. Chris said I can interview into any position better than anyone he has met! My biggest priority in life is my family. I have always known I wanted to be a temporary stay at home mom, but with the way things have worked for us it just isn't a possibility....... so I have decided to be a NANNY!

I get to work full time, bring Aspen along (so she has that interaction with other little ones) and get to see Chris every night and every weekend. For the FIRST time in our entire relationship we get to spend time together like a "normal" couple. I adore the family I will be nannying (is that a word?) for, and really look forward to spending time with these 3 children! I am hoping it's not too overwhelming to be with 4 children, but I suppose we will see right?!

5 min.

Alright. This is my 5 min. pity party (there, consider yourself warned).

Being a Mom is HARD... working the night shift is HARD... learning to read brain waves is HARD... keeping up on all the house work is HARD... the first few years of marriage is HARD... I am just so tired of things being so HARD! Granted, life is amazing and I really wouldn't change anything, but I feel like I should have taken advantage of how much easier things were when I was 8. What was my rush to grow up? Now I have to make the decisions and follow through and pay bills and UGH.

alright, im over it. Funny how seeing a picture of my family puts it all into perspective. I'd rather things be hard and exactly as they are.... like, if I cut out all the "hard stuff" what would be the point to this crazy journey called life?

THIS is where my world begins and ends... what makes it all worth while.

Rollie Pollie Puppy Love

Aspen, our beautiful baby girl... has decided she probably wont ever crawl because she can get everywhere by rolling! She goes from one end of the room to the other by rolling back to belly to back etc. and it's the funniest thing! Ah, babies...

Her favorite thing to roll to right now is our new puppy Buddy. He is a golden retriever, and about 6 months old. The other day I had forgotten he was in the house, and had Aspen on her tummy in the living room... I went to the bathroom and she started cackling! Just the loudest, happiest noises I have ever heard that child make, it turns out Buddy had curled up behind her on the rug and was licking her toes :) We are fortunate he is such a good boy, and although it was super adorable I am still keeping a close eye on things till she gets a little bigger!