Advice?

Dear Anyone,

At the risk of sounding like a rambling-crazy Mom... I need advice on how to prepare myself for leaving Aspen for a weekend. We are going to Vegas (yay) in about a week and as much as I look forward to the needed "break" it's also hard for me to think about driving so very far from my baby. It actually makes my stomach ache in a way that I'd imagine another Mom out there could relate to... The kind of empty-feeling I had in my body after she was born, I knew there was something missing and it felt panicky and confused. I know that sounds extreme, but it's the best I can explain. I KNOW she will be 1,000% safe and completely happy at home with my parents, and I am grateful to have them be so willing to be with her all weekend. I wouldn't even consider EVER leaving her with anyone else, at least until she is completely self-reliant... maybe 10 or 12?I just feel like it's against the laws of nature to go so far away without her right now.

From November 22nd (ish) of 2008 until now, almost 2 years later I have not been more than a night apart from her. It's surreal to think about how we were once a single being, 2 hearts in one body... and then she was seperate. A tiny person that I had to share with other people, that could be farther from me than I had ever known... Is the rest of my life going to be a series of detachments from the person who is so much a part of me that I don't believe I could breathe without her?! That doesn't seem fair. On many levels I'm sure it would be said it's "healthy" to leave her here for the weekend, but on a deep ME level it is freaking me out. When it comes down to it I think I might just have to suck it up and go, or I never will... and being the insane Mom at the college dorm refusing to leave would be amazingly UNcool. So, that's the plan; however, I can't promise not to cry a little.

Jes